Jesus – Awakening Light

Lilac Stands its Ground

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Leviticus 25:35-38

“If your brother becomes poor and cannot maintain himself with you, you shall support him as though he were a stranger and a sojourner, and he shall live with you. Take no interest from him or profit, but fear your God, that your brother may live beside you. You shall not lend him your money at interest, nor give him your food for profit. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt to give you the land of Canaan, and to be your God.

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Our aging vibrantly purple lilac bush stands its ground in the corner of our yard. For as long as I can remember the fragrance of spring lilacs has come wafting up to meet us on the porch.

Just as challenges invade our lives, somehow two trees were seeded in its space and are making the effort to unseat the valiant lilac. Heart shaped leaves.

Yard workers men have tried on own to cut out its competitors for space, sunshine and nourishment. But, persistent, lovely but misplaced elm and mulberry trees still send roots deeper and deeper into the ground and branches competing with power wires work their way into the sky.

This invasion can disrupt the lilac’s growth, flowering, and overall health taking away much needed provisions to the bush.

We look at the small, but thriving parts of the lilac which still stand pulling in, with God’s help, all the nourishment possible. Are we like that?

What are we doing to pull in nourishment, stand up in the face of what is trying to root itself in our lives?

Bits of digital data bombards, clutters of family treasures, persuasive coaxings of how you can be better, change yourself. Credit cards do their exercise with machines to comfort a long day’s work …mindless games and offerings of this diet and this deliver to the door meals to make things better…

Choices with each cut of the moment…focus on, what must you do to bring peace, love and joy to your lives…to live strongly with purpose?

Cutting back the interfering elms and mulberry leaves. Feel that strong feeling that moving to open the way for nourishing light to fill the beings and life space. Not perfectly but making the effort to try. Gives the light inside me strength and focus.

As I took a pruning tool to the trees recognizable by their leaves, the trees gave way very slowly. Not wanting to lose their space in the sun. Pulling and twisting the sturdy branches that cut out the sun, I slowly glimpse the bright sunshine filling the space vacated by the trees and falling onto the leaves. A lilac need at least 6 hours of sunlight a day to nourished well.

The brightness lifts my heart as I know the strength of the leggy lilacs will increase with room to grow.Just as our spiritual strength increases along with that of our brothers and sister as we lift each other up with the nourishing light of God as said in Leviticus. Just take time to be with someone who needs you, for a period of time. Let the sun shine in.

Encouraging words written by Paul to build up a person as fits the occasion…that it may give grace to those who hear. In the world today communication is more instantaneous and far-reaching than ever before. Social media, emails, and texting have made it easy to speak without thinking

Visualize what Paul was saying as a way to use words as tools in your daily life, building and maintaining strong relationships at work and home. make every conversation a blueprint for positivity and support. Picture your speech lifting others as a foundation of kindness and strength. to construct a more uplifting, compassionate world?

James 3:10 echoes this idea, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” Similarly, Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” These verses collectively highlight the profound impact our words can have, either for good or ill. For example…a fellow worker can make a mistake in a workplace scenario. A harsh critique can demoralize, while constructive feedback can motivate and guide. Standing up for another can to help him even in a small way can make a huge difference. https://godsbless.ing/commentary/ephesians/ephesians_4_29/#

Like the pruning the lilac…perhaps I don’t have the exact words, but with a little care, perhaps some light will come in through the power of the Holy Spirit. . Taking a moment to listen actively. To be present in that moment for another. The beauty of love, caring and compassion for another will yield far more than you think. Help that lilac stand its ground.

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

Backseat Rider

By Christine Kaplunas, Guest author

It’s your car. You know how to drive it. You know where you are going. But for whatever reason, someone else is the driver, and you somehow ended up in the backseat.

What’s the first thing you notice? The backseat is kind of…dirty. And stuffy. And you bumped your head on the car just trying to get in. Then you notice how aggressively the driver takes the turns. “Could you turn on the a/c up there?” No one says anything. You lower your window, but the driver suddenly closes it, because it’s making a loud flapping noise. [Um…excuse me, but that’s my window.]

“I’m really hot back here. Can I have some air?” The front passenger turns on the air, but you still can’t feel it. “Would you turn the vents toward me?” Fumbling. Unsuccessfully.

“Oh, it was still on defrost. Sorry.” Finally, you won’t faint.

Does your kid usually have to deal with this when YOU are driving? Did you ever realize the back seat can actually be quite comfortable when the a/c is on? Did you ever notice that pretty blue house on the block? Wow, what a garden! Kids you’ve never seen are playing with a vaguely familiar dog at your neighbor’s house. “I guess I never see this when I’m watching the road.”

Congratulations! You have entered the experience of the “backseat rider.” Your perspective has shifted into solidarity with the people who usually ride in your backseat. Have you made sure the a/c was working when they needed it? Did you fuss at them when they opened the window? And similarly, have you spent any of the last 7 years noticing any of these wonderful things about your neighborhood? Did you notice the trees and the playful dogs and delightful children?

When I started interim pastoral ministry with my current congregation, we created (from scratch!) an after school strings program for 4th and 5th graders at the behest of the local principal. I did so much work to set up and run the program. I taught the students. I did the fundraising. I hired and trained the other program teachers. I spent hours on the phone with administrators. I built support in the denomination and community. I talked with parents and received important tidbits from school teachers. The program wasn’t universally embraced, and there were occasions I went to bat for it. A certain teacher worked quietly and jealousy to convince the school system to withdraw their support for it. It was difficult ascertaining quantitative progress markers. Money came with strings attached, but not the ones that vibrate.

On the other hand, I accepted a lot of help…from everyone. The school district gave us the space and the instruments. The local luthier made repairs. I had volunteers from across my congregation. They checked in students, gave them snacks, dried a few tears, cheer-led their progress from the sidelines, observed teachers (many of the volunteers were retired educators), developed tools for success at every step; the lead teachers and student teachers taught class, identified student progress, helped develop the curriculum, and nurtured the children themselves as they learned violin, viola, and cello. Congregation and community gave donations, memorials, a few bucks here, a $10,000 grant there.

So…long story short, COVID was a major setback. I conducted 14 funerals at my church in 2020 alone. Former volunteers became full time caregivers to family. School returned to session before there was much knowledge of COVID or access to a vaccine, and I was not willing to put my people’s health at risk. My own son spent 2020-2021 in an online-only classroom. I was busy with 100 new ways of being a pastor, and I found online music lessons an exercise in madness. We ended the strings program, but it took time to close it out. I was honestly burning out. I never wanted to be a YouTube pastor, hiding behind a mask like a bandit, editing videos for hours every day, but there I was.

Fast forward to 2023, and my son joined a 5th-8th grade string orchestra through the local Suzuki program. Part of me longed to teach an orchestra again. Part of me was still nursing the grief from before. What happened was weird though: I became a backseat rider.

The conductor was younger than me, still finishing a music education degree. He played percussion, with only the experience of string methods in his degree program. I was shocked when I remembered that, in normal school programs, one teacher alone conducts a whole classroom. My church can’t even get insurance coverage if we don’t keep 4 adults in the room with the children (yes, our insurance requires that 2 non-related adults walk a child to the bathroom).

My first impressions of this “different” string program led me to ask, “Should a parent be in the room as an ‘unrelated adult’ during rehearsal?” “What if a student needs their instrument tuned mid-rehearsal? There’s no one but the conductor if I don’t stay.” “What if a student has a question about bowings and fingerings? This is my specialty!”

At the root of this anxiety was: “Can I backseat-drive this class?” And…” how much can I say before I drive this poor conductor crazy?”

Slowly, I learned something valuable: I learned to just sit there, with all my thoughts and grief and insecurities, and OBSERVE. Out of this practice, I learned:

The conductor is very good at dealing with the ADHD-style disruptions. Why have I always demanded a strictly quiet classroom during rehearsal? He was patient, and the students never *needed* to be yelled at. Have I missed an important lesson for ALL these years?

There’s something important about learning alongside your students; the teaching is mutual. There’s a different sort of respect: the conductor is not an “authoritarian,” but a “authoritative partner” with the orchestra. I’m not sure I’ve ever really tried that when I was the conductor. Most of my own youth conductors were powerful and stern. I feared them, respected them, and learned never to play in the rests. But did my students actually improve when I was strict with them?

As an observational partner, I was welcomed to contribute when students needed a little of my help. But I tried never to make them feel like they couldn’t do something. Tuning strings…let’s do it together. Play through an excerpt…how can we improve this? Then I asked myself: Did I NEED to be needed as a teacher? Did I relish being a “fixer” for every problem? That’s a terrible idea in both teaching and pastoral ministry. Was I ready to learn this difficult lesson?

Could I begin and end a rehearsal with gratitude, rather than anxiety? Maybe we don’t learn everything as well as I’d like. Is it the end of the world though?

Ultimately, riding in the backseat of my own car shifted my perspective and offered me a chance to learn how I might do things differently in the future. Will I conduct another youth orchestra one day? Probably. (I’ve been sucked in many times before.) Will I bring new tools and ideas with me? Most definitely!

Will I occasionally put myself in the back seat in other aspects of my ministry and leadership? 100%.

Rev. Christine Kaplunas serves as the Pastor of Unity Presbyterian Church in Waterloo, Iowa. She plays violin in a string trio with her husband, Daniel, and 12-year-old son, Jacob. She loves new ideas, helping people heal, and Jesus.

A Different Kind of Love

By Christine Kaplunas

_{Author: Rev. Christine Kaplunas serves Unity Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Waterloo, Iowa. She loves reading about history, music and plants, but she also really loves her husband, son, and mother. You can hear her play fiddle occasionally with country band Throwback Jack.}

During the Great Depression, Kentucky women rode 120 miles a week through treacherous mountain passes, crossing swollen creeks and navigating steep terrain – all to deliver books to isolated Appalachian communities. These “Pack Horse Librarians” worked under the WPA from 1935-1943, earning just $28 a month (about $495 today).

Nearly 1,000 librarians participated, using their own horses or mules to carry books in makeshift saddlebags. They established small libraries in churches and post offices, repaired damaged books with Christmas cards as bookmarks, and persevered through harsh weather and dangerous conditions.

When their animals died, some librarians would hike 18-mile routes on foot rather than leave communities without access to books. They gained trust in remote areas by reading Bible passages and brought hope through stories to places where roads didn’t exist.

The program ended in 1943, but the Pack Horse Librarians left an incredible legacy of dedication, bringing knowledge and connection to isolated mountain communities during one of America’s darkest times.

Sources: Down Cut Shin Creek: The Pack Horse Librarians of Kentucky, Smithsonian Magazine, Pine Mountain Settlement School documents. This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

I read this italicized history above (I’ve read lots on these women before), and I can tell you exactly why these women braved horrible job conditions for terrible pay:

It’s love.

Maybe it’s not a sort of love you have encountered before. The benefits they received were things like…

1. Educating (through the sacred mystery of time) their younger selves/being the heroes they needed as kids.

2. Literally becoming heroes to the many isolated and mildly-literate people who needed to be able to connect to a changing, connecting world.

3. Delivering hope.

4. Living in a place with more educated neighbors.

The thing that “gets” me about this story is that I think I have to explain it on a molecular level.

Money is a useful currency. I know what it’s like to need it with utmost haste. I know what debt is like. My “denial” of its importance probably relates to my upbringing in a highly charitable family and church community. So I promise I know more than I look…

When Jesus was healing and empowering people, without money, it was love. When people ensure their neighbors don’t starve (despite all the potential poor choices they made to get there), when people educate other people’s children, when they plant trees or gardens for others to enjoy, when they teach the liberating word of God to others, when they ride a horse through hell just to get people access to books…

It’s love. Love is the currency that transcends all currency, because giving it away only multiplies it.

Do something today that values people over profits. Do something for the love of someone else today. Do it for someone close to you or far away. Do a little bit of something every day. Because money can’t go beyond the grave for you or me. But love does.

Tap on the Shoulder

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?” God declares through the prophet Isaiah. “Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:15–16).

Does God tap you on the shoulder? Presenting you with an “uh-huh”? Perhaps I should pay attention to this?

With my drink cup and snacks in my hand, I am about to slide into the right seat of our Odyssey while on our Colorado vacation. My husband Roger, already in the driver’s seat, calls my attention to the hood of our vehicle.

Looking up, I think perhaps a bird or other critter would appear in my sight. But, instead, I notice a book resting on the driver’s side of the hood. The Practice of the Presence of Jesus, by Joni Eareckson Tada.

Puzzled, I reach out for the book and caress its cover for a minute or two. “Hmm. I thought I took you up to our room last night.”

Somehow, last night my tired brain had said enough. Amid the piles of things I gathered to bring in from the car, the book had apparently silently slipped to the ground and a kind stranger had put it on the hood for me to find.

I forget what to do. I just go on autopilot. I plop the pile of stuff on the hotel room table along with my purse, jump into the shower and fall into bed with the cool sheets lulling me to sleep. Losing myself in my thoughts.

But God wants to have that book and taps me on the shoulder… “Hey, Bonnie. Read this page.” I come out of my reverie and take Joni’s book into the car and turn to today’s page. To Know God. Joni, a quadrapelgic due to an accident when she was young, beautifully addresses this day the importance of making Jesus the center of your thoughts, to delight in me and do your most ordinary tasks with an eye to His glory. To Know God. To Focus on Him. Yes. To be present to bring Jesus’ love light to the world around you.

My schedule for the morning had not started as it should, so God brings me back to the present… shining his Light, nudging me in the right direction. What nudges you back to the present…to focus you on your Creator?

What helps me most right now is the daily intention of starting my day PEACED, with a schedule. I work to ingrain this in my daily habits to put PEACE of God first intentionally and focus on HIM.

This means start with Praying (including worship with Bible), exercise my body and mind and animals, do animal care for two aging pets, chow some hopefully healthy food, do Email / communication and Devotion of the Practice of Presence of Jesus. Then dive into my schedule.

It usually starts for me with just bowing in gratitude and guidance to let go to the God that loves me through all my forgetfulness, my humanness, difficult circumstances… and 20 minutes of silent prayer to get in tune with Him. To become aware.

His loving reminder, when you are aware, sometimes is in finding a book on the hood, sometimes a word from a friend, sometimes a playful pup, sometimes breathless mountain walks with a tree hug or beautiful foliage, sometimes, a text or note from a friend. Perhaps, a smile from a stranger or an unexpected “door” opens for you that you do not expect showing you that that you are not alone. Someone is aware of you.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not easy. Phone calls, house emergencies, family needs, lots get in the way. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to just forge ahead. Making that list. You look around and see so many projects that are on your plate. Where do you start? You feel frozen. Overwhelmed.

But no matter how often you forget, God loves you so much he will not let you go. Jesus knows you overwhelm…he has been there and has given his life that you may live. And now, the Holy Spirit is tapping you on the shoulder, remembering his child with love. “Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:15–16).

Be Still and Know

Storm Cloud Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA

God’s Loving Hand works in mysterious ways. When do we know that what we are sensing to do is from the Holy Spirit?

The book of 1 John reveals so much of Jesus’ dear apostle and friend. John’s unwavering belief in the Son of God and Jesus’ undeniable complete trust in His Father continues to show God’s beautiful Love to all. Jesus the Christ carries out his human yet divine journey to save human life through resurrection.

Christians believe through study of the Word the deep connection available to imperfect humankind via faith, grace, forgiveness and Love to each other and all other living things in Creation.

So, what brings this to the front today? Grace, forgiveness and Love of my very imperfect self, truth be told.

While watching my dear husband and neighbor bowl at Monday league, I received a call from our worship leader at church where we often do technology for services. Earlier that day I had had back-to-back meetings and was just preparing to get back into what I needed to follow-up on from Sunday.

“The remote for the LCD worship team projector is missing and I have looked everywhere,” she said. “I usually put the remotes on top of the soundboard, I responded. Perhaps, it may have slipped off the top of the board when the rack was moved and onto the floor in back of the soundboard in the closet.” I asked her to call me later on Monday when she had more news.

My imperfect self guiltily remembered the remote was not immediately apparent on the sound board when I went back, still in church clothes, to pick something up at church later Sunday. I wished I could have taken the time to thoroughly search. I had dashed in to pick up something on the way to a planned lunch and my husband was anxiously waiting my return to the car.

I had told my husband at the time, but he seemed to think it would turn up soon and not to worry. (He was right, but for a different reason). I remembered the leader had had the remote in her hand to check for batteries, so…. More reflection brought several scenarios to mind like the one I mentioned that would likely lead to finding it. I prayed about the remote and now this call. I knew God would provide an answer, but somehow felt guilty and impatient.

Completion of a very detailed class paper made time fly by. The paper finally done, I set out to get carry-on filled. Finally, I just had to get some sleep. But, a late evening storm front that went through woke me up. I remembered the remote and said another prayer. Then I remembered I hadn’t heard back from her. I hoped that maybe she had found it and had been as busy as we were.

So, I checked on my 16-year-old dog Rascal, sound asleep on his back on the bed. He was so peaceful. To him, all was well with the world. Mom and dad and his cat brother were here and he was safe. I rubbed his belly and smiled as he leaned in and I thought I need to always be this confident about God taking care of me in my life. I have so much to be grateful for. I drifted off with a roof over my head, a loving husband….so many graces. I relaxed with verses of God’s love for us playing in my head and fell into sleep.

A deep nudge from the Holy Spirit woke me early with a very strong urge to go to my closet and look for my pink coat I had worn at service the day before. It was a peaceful, but very persistent nudge. So, I groggily got up and quietly opened the closet door. I shuffled my clothes and found the coat.

I reached into the closest pocket, nothing there. I cocked my head. A memory started forming, hurrying me along into the next pocket. I felt something metal and rectangular. There it was. Stunned, I realized that it had been there all the time… when I had finished the service, when I went back to look in the sound closet, and when I hung the coat up and said a prayer to find the remote. I was just too busy to notice. To take time to be aware. A couple familiar buttons popped into my eyes as I lifted the object out of my pocket.

I simply stood there. The prayer was answered.

Groggily things came into focus remembering the leader handing me the remote after she had checked for batteries. I had then quickly moved into the next task for the worship day. In reflection, I must have put the remote into my pocket then and forgotten about it. I never have put the remote on my person before, so it never occurred to me to look in my pockets, despite the suggestion it might be there made earlier Monday.

Something shook me out of my reverie and I looked for the darkened bedroom clock flashing 12:00 indicating that power had gone out. I stumbled out into the kitchen looking for my phone to message her but with the power out, my phone was not charged. My computer had automatic backup so I immediately messaged her the remote was found and it would be at church first thing in the morning, and apologized for any inconvenience. She would have it when she checked her messages, so I could do nothing more. I sighed a prayer of gratitude and asked for forgiveness for my assumptions and human error. I put the remote by my purse and smiled.

I pondered the irony of the remote. The remote connector to the LCD is like visually being present, being open to what was there, ready to respond. To clearly listen to signals coming to me from God, Holy Spirit, from my friend and my surroundings and giving God’s love back to them.

I wish to be more present and awake to love and listen to a nudge from the Holy Spirit, whatever form it takes. When I walked into the church to bring the remote, I was given grace and forgiveness by caring friends who know that things happen…we are all human and love each other through things. Drawing closer together in doing so openly with love.

Just a side, if you take time to smile, you will by consequence, be more present and aware of what is going on. Take a few life-giving breaths in and out. To remember to trust in Whose you are and Who loves you more than anyone else.

Will I mess up again? Undoubtedly. But I know who will forgive me. And love me always. And I pray that you, as well, will always grow in understanding, give grace and forgive. Thank you, Jesus. Amen

Fullness of God’s Love

When the sun shines encompassing a field of flowers, does it choose to give its warmth to just the most perfect flowers with no flaws? Definitely not. If not, can we then as imperfect human beings in today’s world feel the fullness of God’s Love when we are not perfect? I believe so, since devoted Christian apostle Paul, as Saul of Tarsus before conversion, had mercilessly persecuted Jesus followers.

In 1 Thessalonians 1:1-10 the apostle Paul spoke of his joy in the strength of faith, hope and love in newly converted Christian Thessalonians in 50AD during the Roman rule in the midst of a Grecian idol-laden culture. No one was turned away from his teaching which seemed to many counter-cultural of the time with Grecian idol worship and military might so prevalent.

During this 2^nd missionary journey from 49-51AD with Sylvanus and Timothy, despite sometimes strong violent opposition from some in leadership, devoted Christian apostle Paul preached the abundant Love of God, salvation and humility of Jesus to diverse economic and cultural backgrounds at the thriving hub seaport of Thessalonica.

Countless men and women alike along this major northern Grecian city were drawn to Christianity through the teachings of this well-spoken and educated Jewish Roman citizen. Long after Paul and his friends were forced to leave, Timothy returned to witness the flourishing in their faith. the Son shone brightly through the power of the Holy Spirit to this community of faith to all who wished to hear.

Nourished by Christian agape love, individuals in the growing faith community now greeted each other with “Grace and Peace to you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” …instead of speaking the Roman slogan of “Security and Peace” advocating control through sometimes violent means. Loving each other through difficult times, standing fast in their faith.

We are motivated by the deep Love of Jesus to seek God with all our hearts. We need to remember God listens to even the smallest cries of our hearts for mercy, grace, compassion, understanding, ess… in bounded fullness of Love.

The eternal control is God’s who has given humanity free will. Our God loves us unconditionally. In today’s world there are conflicts in Middle East, disharmony with diversity in belief and religions, environmental crisis, and more. We have to remember that Christian community can and will flourish through staying deep in the Scriptures, pray always, listening and accepting each other in Love. This is far from easy; but we can make it with our Christ.

Perception Matters And How It Changes Everything

Kayla Becker loves to serve and inspire others as a friend, school teacher, yoga instructor, success coach and more. I have known Kayla as a contemplative friend for quite awhile now and truly love the beauty of her heart. The wisdom in her article about truth versus perception in seeing can easily be applied to how to see God and His children with an awakened heart. Thank you Kayla for your service to God and His creations! Blessings, Bonnie

Kayla Becker, guest blogger

One of my first mentors always talked about beach balls

As a metaphor

For how people see a situation.

Depending on which side of a beach ball you are standing

You will see different colors –

If you are standing on one side of the beach ball,

You’ll see the colors green, orange, and white

And if you are standing on the other side of the beach ball,

You’ll see the colors yellow, blue, and red.

And as my mentor told me,

Each person is right

Regardless of what they see –

Because they can only see what is in front of them.

And it’s what we currently know

That is guiding our reality.

Whatever side of the situation – of the ball – we are seeing

Is our truth.

I think about this analogy often when I am working with my clients

Because it is often our perception, our truth,

That is impacting us –

For better or for worse.

Sometimes it’s our perception of ourselves –

“I’m not good enough”

“I’m not where I want to be”

“I always mess up”

“I’m going to fail”

“I don’t know how to get over this”

“I don’t fit in”

“No one understands me”

“I can’t figure out how to change (fill in the blank)”

“I’m such a (loser, screw up, disappointment, hot mess, black sheep…)

And it is these perceptions –

These “truths” –

We have about ourselves

That keeps us stuck.

And other times,

It’s these big, looming thoughts we have about being

Judged

And

Criticized

And

Being all alone

That frightens us the most

Because of past experiences

And memories

That holds us hostage

In our own lives.

And when this happens,

We need to pick up the beach ball

And examine it.

We need to turn it to the other side,

Flip it around,

Turn it upside down

And see what we see …

And that’s one of my roles with my clients –

To help them see and explore something different,

So, they can decide for themselves.

Because sometimes seeing something different is really hard

Especially when we’ve believed something about ourselves, or others, or a situation,

For so long.

Because many times

Those are the ones that are causing us the most anguish

Because they are so ingrained in who we are,

And how we see ourselves…

And when we’ve believed something for so long

It becomes a “truth”

Rather than a perception.

If you’re seeing only one side of the beach ball,

You aren’t seeing the whole thing clearly

And that’s a problem.

Write to Kayla Becker

Guiding my Way

The meeting will start at 7pm. It is now 6:15. Close, but I am pretty sure I can make it. The topic of the evening will be the fragmentation of the Body of Christ for which I already have studied and done homework. A blast of night air pierces through my sweater coat as I pull the door shut, take a breath, and start the car heading toward the main highway.

The dark night clouds my vision, and I wish the event I had just left at the career center had been in the afternoon. Seeing a sign up ahead, I bite my lip with a bit of doubt in my thoughts and make a guess that this the next familiar road might be right way to go, but something tells me to go a different direction. As I continue on into the darkness, I go through the homework thinking of how we could be more unified in working together on our faith journeys. We seem to be going in different directions sometimes when teamwork and camaraderie of caring educators and committed student showcased at the celebration brings a smile to my heart. Focus and moving forward is possible once commonality is seen. I feel blessed to have even a small part in making the dream come true for children in our school district. I wish to send pictures to the coordinator. Yummy leftovers… Lots of details swirl in my thoughts.

As I round the bend in the road, I find a “Road Closed” barrier with lights flashing into my headlights. Oh, no. I veer away and keep going. Another street sign appears, I slow down a little to look at the street sign. Hmm. Unfamiliar territory for the way to class. 6:25pm. As I continue on the road, I notice a church on the left side where I had attended a meeting earlier that day. But I was backtracking. This wasn’t what I had planned. In the dark I am going the opposite direction from the way I want to go.

Now I have the choice to take a possible detour and get turned in the right direction on another side road, but would I make it by the meeting time or just get more lost? Or, should I go another way… which may be a lot longer? Which one? How important is this meeting that the thought of missing time started my mind to work overtime. Darkness. Unknown. Uncertainty.

I take a breath and remember how the Holy Spirit can give lessons on our journeys…tonight’s lesson seems to have started early… actively showing life doubts, fragmentation which need the Light of clarity and wholeness. Life decisions involve a lot of unknowns, every moment, every day. How to proceed?

I remember a prayer friend’s advice that when difficulty arises, I have the beautiful opportunity to let the Lord fill my heart with Jesus’ guiding Light. Take a few more deep, deep Spirit-filled breaths, praise God for the opportunity to trust Him to guide you, remember a beautiful Scripture or hymn, focus on Jesus’ face in your heart, simply ask for “Help” from the One who already knows the Way and then just listen and Let Go. There are many turns and as humans, we will have our fair share of challenges with no apparent “best” answers appearing in neon lights saying…this is the way ahead.

I have the opportunity to thank Jesus for awakening me to His steadying hand and guiding Light. I am and will be where God wants me to be. I reach down deep in my heart and said a thank you and a prayer for Help. I know that I have to do my part to reach my goal of getting home, so I just forget about the time and focus on being present to what is in front of me. With gratitude.

Road signs come and go, as one of my favorite hymns, “Be Thou My Vision”, came floating into my consciousness. My heart slows a little and I feel more peaceful. Indeed, Jesus lives in me and I can remember to “see” through His eyes. The street lights of the neighboring city came into view, but familiar territory. I may not be on time for the meeting, but I am moving ahead with a clear discipline letting in Jesus’ radiant, guiding Light. A smile touches my heart. Turn after turn, I became more sure that this was how this small bit of my journey was meant to go in the first place. A new way. A transforming heart less fragmented, open to the unknown of unfamiliar ways. Not the wrong way. His Way. Which way will you go?

No problem! I got this…

⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

“No problem! I got this…”

Do you ever feel this way?

I received a strong reminder of God’s power when the neighborhood cat Daisy triggered a gut feeling in our Rascal dog that cleanly knocked obeying his master out of the park.

“My territory. My way.”

We were walking Rascal in the neighborhood when all of a sudden, I saw a flash of fur ahead of us in the near distance. Before I could react, the leash flew out of our hands with a big sudden jerk, trailing behind a disappearing Rascal around the corner of a house. He was chasing Daisy, who was scared for her life.

Oh no—he’s loose! This was the cry of my heart.

A deep wrench of “why didn’t you” flashed before me as I ran with heart thumping …Why hadn’t I had (didn’t I) keep a stronger grip on his leash? I clearly did not “have control“ and there was a problem. Rascal was gone!

Why, Why, why… A busy street lay just beyond Rascal’s disappearing tail. Roger hurried around the other side of the house in an attempt to head him off. But no such luck. As I ran, I prayed that Rascal would be found safe from danger away from the busy road in front of our house and return to us. I caught my breath in the front yard and surveyed the landscape in an eerie out-of-time pause.

When time picked up again, I returned to the present, seeing Roger across the busy street yelling to me, “I see him! Rascal, come see dad!”

A splash of light brown tail raced in the other direction. Then, as Rascal finally heard our voices, an “Oops I forgot look.” appeared on his face. He stopped dead in his tracks and faced us as Daisy scrambled behind her house.

Rascal approached Roger, much like a child after being caught with his hand in cookie jar. He slowly dipped his head, tentatively wagged his tail, and bowed deeply, as if asking for compassion and understanding.

As his contrition unfolded, my heart reawakened me to how our loving God welcomes us as we truly observe our weaknesses. He reveals them in what we are doing to ourselves and others, and bids us come back to Him.

When we awaken to the realization of our thoughtless actions, judgment of others, and disregard of God’s ways, we hear God’s voice calling us.

In the same manner as Christ, Roger leaned down, joyfully surrounding forgetful, cat-chasing Rascal with his arms. Roger’s loving tone rang out, “Rascal! You heard me and returned when I called.” Rascal’s tail immediately wagged faster and smiled. He behaved as if he were home, welcomed into His master’s arms.

We may say, “I got this! No problem!“

But do we? Our Savior says “Come to me. I Love you no matter what, I will surround you with my Love and strengthen you throughout your life. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Not our power, but His holds us in life.

My challenge: read and meditate on the following verses from Corinthians 1, chapter 13 about LOVE. Perhaps, replace the word LOVE with your own name or God’s. Try doing so twice daily.

“13 If I speak in the tongues^[^a^] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[^b^] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹²For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Awaken to others by learning more about what our Lord Jesus did when he came to us as a man, choosing to be present with lovingkindness for all. Pray ceaselessly, giving God praise and worshiping him. Come back home.

Later, as we rested, I felt such gratitude and love as Rascal jumped up and nestled close with a sigh. As I petted his soft curly fur, he looked up, ears flopping open with his deep, soft brown eyes melting into mine.

God’s Love whispered, “I’ve got this. I Love you. You are Mine.”

Christmas Trials

Guest Blog

By Laurie Jane Stawicki

It was Christmas break, and I was home from college. I attended the University of Northern Iowa. The big white farmhouse with green shutters housed my two younger brothers, who were 16 and 18 and my sister who was 18 months older than I. Her boyfriend was visiting from Germany, and we were having our common teenage times of visiting with friends, and doing our regular things, however, all was not well.

As we watched our mom go from a bright-eyed perky person to a depressed, zombie-like state, we worried and wondered and hoped.

Christmas that year was strange without Dad, who had left us to go with another. But what was stranger was that Mom’s brother Uncle D. came and helped Mom shop for gifts for us. The usual lights and brights of Christmases past were not to visit us that year. Christmas morning was solemn and somber as mom sat in a catatonic state on the couch and we took turns opening our gifts and thanking her. We had gifts for her too but she seemed vacant and foggy.

Later that day, preparing to go to my Grandmother’s house in town, my brothers and sister and I snapped a picture of ourselves out in the snow by our cars. Someone had lobbed a snowball at someone else so there were a few smiles, but in the photo, the strain and worry and somberness of that particular season showed up on our faces.

I am not telling this to depress you. I am sharing this because not everyone around us is having a merry Christmas. Although we all have so much to be thankful for, even for breath, food, clothes, life, and whatever family and friends remain in our lives, we can be thankful! Even if loved ones are no longer in your life, it is great to remember them with gratitude; the opportunity to have known them and to share some part of your life enriched or taught you or brought understanding that we may not have had any other way.

I have often said that people need to have grace on others while in the grocery line and while driving. I think it’s important to be polite and give others the benefit of the doubt. You never know what news they just received from the doctor, or what family member had a difficult thing to share on the phone that morning. We need to not take everything personally but give our brothers and sisters on the earth grace for whatever may be happening in their lives.

How about you? Can you relate to a joyous occasion turning out less than joyous? Or a season of loss and grief in life that seems to be accentuated by the expectations that there should be joy and peace?

What would you say if I told you that there can be joy and peace no matter what has happened, and no matter what is going on in your life? When we look up to the cross and to Christ and see the sorrows that he endured in order to make sure we had a way to have access to his most loving, holy, heavenly Father for eternity, we can focus on the blessing of Christmas; the fact that because Jesus Christ the Messiah came to earth, we can see through any trial, looking forward to the end result, the salvation of our souls.

Laurie Stawicki, singer/song-writer, poet and writer, lives, loves and creates in Iowa where she is mom to five children (and others by association) and a labradoodle dog. Raised in a Christian home, yet marked by abuse, she has spent her time praying, journaling, reading and singing all the while learning more and more about the healing God offers through his Son Jesus Christ. It is her hope that her upcoming book, “Sacrifice of Tears,” will be a blessing to others by showing them the possibility of redemption even through family tragedy, and the hope we all can have in the Lord.

She can be reached at Laurie.Jane1 at yahoo.com and www.LaurieStawicki.com.