The meeting will start at 7pm. It is now 6:15. Close, but I am pretty sure I can make it. The topic of the evening will be the fragmentation of the Body of Christ for which I already have studied and done homework. A blast of night air pierces through my sweater coat as I pull the door shut, take a breath, and start the car heading toward the main highway.
The dark night clouds my vision, and I wish the event I had just left at the career center had been in the afternoon. Seeing a sign up ahead, I bite my lip with a bit of doubt in my thoughts and make a guess that this the next familiar road might be right way to go, but something tells me to go a different direction. As I continue on into the darkness, I go through the homework thinking of how we could be more unified in working together on our faith journeys. We seem to be going in different directions sometimes when teamwork and camaraderie of caring educators and committed student showcased at the celebration brings a smile to my heart. Focus and moving forward is possible once commonality is seen. I feel blessed to have even a small part in making the dream come true for children in our school district. I wish to send pictures to the coordinator. Yummy leftovers… Lots of details swirl in my thoughts.
As I round the bend in the road, I find a “Road Closed” barrier with lights flashing into my headlights. Oh, no. I veer away and keep going. Another street sign appears, I slow down a little to look at the street sign. Hmm. Unfamiliar territory for the way to class. 6:25pm. As I continue on the road, I notice a church on the left side where I had attended a meeting earlier that day. But I was backtracking. This wasn’t what I had planned. In the dark I am going the opposite direction from the way I want to go.
Now I have the choice to take a possible detour and get turned in the right direction on another side road, but would I make it by the meeting time or just get more lost? Or, should I go another way… which may be a lot longer? Which one? How important is this meeting that the thought of missing time started my mind to work overtime. Darkness. Unknown. Uncertainty.
I take a breath and remember how the Holy Spirit can give lessons on our journeys…tonight’s lesson seems to have started early… actively showing life doubts, fragmentation which need the Light of clarity and wholeness. Life decisions involve a lot of unknowns, every moment, every day. How to proceed?
I remember a prayer friend’s advice that when difficulty arises, I have the beautiful opportunity to let the Lord fill my heart with Jesus’ guiding Light. Take a few more deep, deep Spirit-filled breaths, praise God for the opportunity to trust Him to guide you, remember a beautiful Scripture or hymn, focus on Jesus’ face in your heart, simply ask for “Help” from the One who already knows the Way and then just listen and Let Go. There are many turns and as humans, we will have our fair share of challenges with no apparent “best” answers appearing in neon lights saying…this is the way ahead.
I have the opportunity to thank Jesus for awakening me to His steadying hand and guiding Light. I am and will be where God wants me to be. I reach down deep in my heart and said a thank you and a prayer for Help. I know that I have to do my part to reach my goal of getting home, so I just forget about the time and focus on being present to what is in front of me. With gratitude.
Road signs come and go, as one of my favorite hymns, “Be Thou My Vision”, came floating into my consciousness. My heart slows a little and I feel more peaceful. Indeed, Jesus lives in me and I can remember to “see” through His eyes. The street lights of the neighboring city came into view, but familiar territory. I may not be on time for the meeting, but I am moving ahead with a clear discipline letting in Jesus’ radiant, guiding Light. A smile touches my heart. Turn after turn, I became more sure that this was how this small bit of my journey was meant to go in the first place. A new way. A transforming heart less fragmented, open to the unknown of unfamiliar ways. Not the wrong way. His Way. Which way will you go?
© Copyright 2022 Bonnie L Smith-Davis
Awakening Light 