Family – Awakening Light

Addiction to Service

How much should you give of yourself?

There is beauty in generosity, and dignity in service, strength in boundaries, and freedom in choosing when—and how—you give. To find balance is not to abandon others, but to honor oneself as part of the circle of care.

If you find yourself “addicted” to doing a lot for others, as I have realized in my life, know that you are not alone, and that change is possible. Your worth does not depend on your usefulness. You are allowed to rest. Over time, I have found saying “No” has been much harder for me, than saying “yes”.

Jesus set the example for us…going off on his own – deliberately woven into the rhythm of his ministry. Solitude, for Jesus, was not merely absence from others but presence with God—a space for renewal, listening, and aligning with the Father’s will.

Jesus’ time alone was primarily spent intimate, sacred moments with God where he sought guidance, poured out his heart, and reaffirmed his mission. His prayers were not hurried; they were deep and sustained, revealing the depth of his reliance on God in preparation on for his ministry, giving himself rest and restoration- not only for himself but also for his disciples. In Mark 6:31, he invited them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” These moments of retreat were times to breathe, reflect, and recover strength.

This brings into play an understanding of the boundaries you must set for yourself to appreciate the wake up calls of some of your friends who have seen you diminish.

There is a difference between saying “yes” when you don’t compromise your health, your family or friends who truly need you with a perceived opportunity to serve, when others could fill in the need. Just step back to consider the “why” in your “yes”.

Yes, you can undoubtedly do it, but what compromises must be made in order to do so. If you can answer with confidence that it is a balancing (change of pace) for you of your stressors with a focus on something beneficial to others, perhaps yes is in order.

Some examples for me might be my choices to work at our local botanical gardens and arboretum or play music for others/visit with patients at hospitals or be a liturgist/lay leader at a church service.

I can do these things and not have to feel more stressed out. Along with taking care of my family who have a lot of health concerns right now. I do work out, go on walks and play my piano to relax as well and visit needed health professionals. I wish to be the best me present for them. So, I still am learning to say “no” in ways that respect others needs and my own.

Just recently there was a lapse in imperfect me’s boundary setting when I let myself be assigned to two major commitments on a given Sunday: a tech person, and leader for the worship in two different services on the same day. Too much. Two caring friends assisted in helping work through this. So much on my mind, overrode my self-care boundary – too willing over a period of time to not say yes. I didn’t step back spontaneously and look as I should have and relearned this lesson. The job had to be done, so I thought I was the only one that could do it. I guess I wanted to be the answer to each problem, a need partly filled. I was clearly incorrect and the Holy Spirit and the administrative secretary tapped me on the shoulder to remind me.

My family -parents and sibling -of community leaders have taught me the importance through example to step up …to step up. But I started at some point to serve with addiction, without my totally being aware. Perhaps you could identify a bit with the heroine of the movie, “Ordinary Angels”, or know someone who would.

People can unknowingly become addicted and compromise themselves. I recently saw a great video called “Ordinary Angels” with a clear look into an addicted life of a well-meaning, struggling hairdresser named Sharon- in this non-romantic true story -stemming from not feeling worthy of just being in this world, taking on too much and not taking time to think about why.

In this story, a young Christian family loses a wife and has a very ill child. The town pitches in to help the family but at the cost of overwork (inspired those it was) of the hairdresser who dedicates MOST of her time, and ALL her resources to that family. Sharon didn’t realize how much she was causing stress on those who loved her and wasn’t willing to find peace and joy in being caring self. (A bit of me twinges here). There are many lessons to be learned in being aware of one’s own self. Joy inside. Not inner peace and Joy SIDELINED by hiding by keeping busy.

You are allowed to receive. And in learning to do so, you may discover that the greatest gift you can offer—to others and to yourself—is the example of a life lived in gentle balance, where care flows both outward and inward, sustaining all and healthier, sustainable connections can emerge, built on mutual respect and care.

Ultimately, I am not a psychologist or counselor to advise you, but simply a more aware Christian who plans to more open to saying “no” and taking even more vulnerable, healthy care of myself and others … I believe it is important not to stop caring for others, but to care for oneself as well as Jesus illustrated for us. Scriptures say to love your neighbor as you love yourself in Leviticus 19:18. You can be generous without being depleted, helpful without being consumed.

Practice mindfulness: Pause to notice your own needs, feelings, and boundaries.
Reflect on your motives: Ask yourself why you feel compelled to help and whether you are acting from obligation or genuine desire.
Seek support: Therapy, support groups, and trusted friends can help you untangle old patterns and build new ones.
Celebrate small acts of self-care: Rest is not selfish; it is necessary. Inner peace and joy are not indulgent; they are vital.

Backseat Rider

By Christine Kaplunas, Guest author

It’s your car. You know how to drive it. You know where you are going. But for whatever reason, someone else is the driver, and you somehow ended up in the backseat.

What’s the first thing you notice? The backseat is kind of…dirty. And stuffy. And you bumped your head on the car just trying to get in. Then you notice how aggressively the driver takes the turns. “Could you turn on the a/c up there?” No one says anything. You lower your window, but the driver suddenly closes it, because it’s making a loud flapping noise. [Um…excuse me, but that’s my window.]

“I’m really hot back here. Can I have some air?” The front passenger turns on the air, but you still can’t feel it. “Would you turn the vents toward me?” Fumbling. Unsuccessfully.

“Oh, it was still on defrost. Sorry.” Finally, you won’t faint.

Does your kid usually have to deal with this when YOU are driving? Did you ever realize the back seat can actually be quite comfortable when the a/c is on? Did you ever notice that pretty blue house on the block? Wow, what a garden! Kids you’ve never seen are playing with a vaguely familiar dog at your neighbor’s house. “I guess I never see this when I’m watching the road.”

Congratulations! You have entered the experience of the “backseat rider.” Your perspective has shifted into solidarity with the people who usually ride in your backseat. Have you made sure the a/c was working when they needed it? Did you fuss at them when they opened the window? And similarly, have you spent any of the last 7 years noticing any of these wonderful things about your neighborhood? Did you notice the trees and the playful dogs and delightful children?

When I started interim pastoral ministry with my current congregation, we created (from scratch!) an after school strings program for 4th and 5th graders at the behest of the local principal. I did so much work to set up and run the program. I taught the students. I did the fundraising. I hired and trained the other program teachers. I spent hours on the phone with administrators. I built support in the denomination and community. I talked with parents and received important tidbits from school teachers. The program wasn’t universally embraced, and there were occasions I went to bat for it. A certain teacher worked quietly and jealousy to convince the school system to withdraw their support for it. It was difficult ascertaining quantitative progress markers. Money came with strings attached, but not the ones that vibrate.

On the other hand, I accepted a lot of help…from everyone. The school district gave us the space and the instruments. The local luthier made repairs. I had volunteers from across my congregation. They checked in students, gave them snacks, dried a few tears, cheer-led their progress from the sidelines, observed teachers (many of the volunteers were retired educators), developed tools for success at every step; the lead teachers and student teachers taught class, identified student progress, helped develop the curriculum, and nurtured the children themselves as they learned violin, viola, and cello. Congregation and community gave donations, memorials, a few bucks here, a $10,000 grant there.

So…long story short, COVID was a major setback. I conducted 14 funerals at my church in 2020 alone. Former volunteers became full time caregivers to family. School returned to session before there was much knowledge of COVID or access to a vaccine, and I was not willing to put my people’s health at risk. My own son spent 2020-2021 in an online-only classroom. I was busy with 100 new ways of being a pastor, and I found online music lessons an exercise in madness. We ended the strings program, but it took time to close it out. I was honestly burning out. I never wanted to be a YouTube pastor, hiding behind a mask like a bandit, editing videos for hours every day, but there I was.

Fast forward to 2023, and my son joined a 5th-8th grade string orchestra through the local Suzuki program. Part of me longed to teach an orchestra again. Part of me was still nursing the grief from before. What happened was weird though: I became a backseat rider.

The conductor was younger than me, still finishing a music education degree. He played percussion, with only the experience of string methods in his degree program. I was shocked when I remembered that, in normal school programs, one teacher alone conducts a whole classroom. My church can’t even get insurance coverage if we don’t keep 4 adults in the room with the children (yes, our insurance requires that 2 non-related adults walk a child to the bathroom).

My first impressions of this “different” string program led me to ask, “Should a parent be in the room as an ‘unrelated adult’ during rehearsal?” “What if a student needs their instrument tuned mid-rehearsal? There’s no one but the conductor if I don’t stay.” “What if a student has a question about bowings and fingerings? This is my specialty!”

At the root of this anxiety was: “Can I backseat-drive this class?” And…” how much can I say before I drive this poor conductor crazy?”

Slowly, I learned something valuable: I learned to just sit there, with all my thoughts and grief and insecurities, and OBSERVE. Out of this practice, I learned:

The conductor is very good at dealing with the ADHD-style disruptions. Why have I always demanded a strictly quiet classroom during rehearsal? He was patient, and the students never *needed* to be yelled at. Have I missed an important lesson for ALL these years?

There’s something important about learning alongside your students; the teaching is mutual. There’s a different sort of respect: the conductor is not an “authoritarian,” but a “authoritative partner” with the orchestra. I’m not sure I’ve ever really tried that when I was the conductor. Most of my own youth conductors were powerful and stern. I feared them, respected them, and learned never to play in the rests. But did my students actually improve when I was strict with them?

As an observational partner, I was welcomed to contribute when students needed a little of my help. But I tried never to make them feel like they couldn’t do something. Tuning strings…let’s do it together. Play through an excerpt…how can we improve this? Then I asked myself: Did I NEED to be needed as a teacher? Did I relish being a “fixer” for every problem? That’s a terrible idea in both teaching and pastoral ministry. Was I ready to learn this difficult lesson?

Could I begin and end a rehearsal with gratitude, rather than anxiety? Maybe we don’t learn everything as well as I’d like. Is it the end of the world though?

Ultimately, riding in the backseat of my own car shifted my perspective and offered me a chance to learn how I might do things differently in the future. Will I conduct another youth orchestra one day? Probably. (I’ve been sucked in many times before.) Will I bring new tools and ideas with me? Most definitely!

Will I occasionally put myself in the back seat in other aspects of my ministry and leadership? 100%.

Rev. Christine Kaplunas serves as the Pastor of Unity Presbyterian Church in Waterloo, Iowa. She plays violin in a string trio with her husband, Daniel, and 12-year-old son, Jacob. She loves new ideas, helping people heal, and Jesus.

A Different Kind of Love

By Christine Kaplunas

_{Author: Rev. Christine Kaplunas serves Unity Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Waterloo, Iowa. She loves reading about history, music and plants, but she also really loves her husband, son, and mother. You can hear her play fiddle occasionally with country band Throwback Jack.}

During the Great Depression, Kentucky women rode 120 miles a week through treacherous mountain passes, crossing swollen creeks and navigating steep terrain – all to deliver books to isolated Appalachian communities. These “Pack Horse Librarians” worked under the WPA from 1935-1943, earning just $28 a month (about $495 today).

Nearly 1,000 librarians participated, using their own horses or mules to carry books in makeshift saddlebags. They established small libraries in churches and post offices, repaired damaged books with Christmas cards as bookmarks, and persevered through harsh weather and dangerous conditions.

When their animals died, some librarians would hike 18-mile routes on foot rather than leave communities without access to books. They gained trust in remote areas by reading Bible passages and brought hope through stories to places where roads didn’t exist.

The program ended in 1943, but the Pack Horse Librarians left an incredible legacy of dedication, bringing knowledge and connection to isolated mountain communities during one of America’s darkest times.

Sources: Down Cut Shin Creek: The Pack Horse Librarians of Kentucky, Smithsonian Magazine, Pine Mountain Settlement School documents. This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

I read this italicized history above (I’ve read lots on these women before), and I can tell you exactly why these women braved horrible job conditions for terrible pay:

It’s love.

Maybe it’s not a sort of love you have encountered before. The benefits they received were things like…

1. Educating (through the sacred mystery of time) their younger selves/being the heroes they needed as kids.

2. Literally becoming heroes to the many isolated and mildly-literate people who needed to be able to connect to a changing, connecting world.

3. Delivering hope.

4. Living in a place with more educated neighbors.

The thing that “gets” me about this story is that I think I have to explain it on a molecular level.

Money is a useful currency. I know what it’s like to need it with utmost haste. I know what debt is like. My “denial” of its importance probably relates to my upbringing in a highly charitable family and church community. So I promise I know more than I look…

When Jesus was healing and empowering people, without money, it was love. When people ensure their neighbors don’t starve (despite all the potential poor choices they made to get there), when people educate other people’s children, when they plant trees or gardens for others to enjoy, when they teach the liberating word of God to others, when they ride a horse through hell just to get people access to books…

It’s love. Love is the currency that transcends all currency, because giving it away only multiplies it.

Do something today that values people over profits. Do something for the love of someone else today. Do it for someone close to you or far away. Do a little bit of something every day. Because money can’t go beyond the grave for you or me. But love does.

The old Tiger and Bobcat

Psalm 104:27-28 These all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.

¹Corinthians 13:4,7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ferocity, not Tenderness and love, usually comes to mind when I think of tigers versus bobcats. But just because beings are different, doesn’t mean love can’t flourish.

Prides of the cat families usually are often thought of as lions but our pride includes a house cat who thinks he’s a lion, a dog and a two legged creatures as the the “daddy cat” or “old tiger” as he calls himself.

yes, in our family’s pride I will share the loving relationship between two different but exceptionally tender and loving beings, one with 2 legs and one with 4, who truly gave their hearts to each other. The old tiger, Roger, has led the pride.. The other is our Blake, the feisty but dear tuxedo kitty named Bobcat for his manner of drinking, who would have been 21 on his next birthday.

God creates all animals for the use of mankind (Genesis 1:28; 9:3), but he expects us to respect and care for those resources, not to abuse them.

A godly perspective on all creation naturally leads to respect for all creatures. Psalm 104:27-28 All (creatures) all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.

This Biblical truth lives to the full with our old tiger and bobcat who lived 19 years with his pride…from the time we got him 10 pounds of feistiness and confidence in his role in life. In charge of his staff.

Blake, a small shorthair cat with an appetite, a big attitude, no claws and big teeth. If he wakes up early, hungry, he will catch the first human out of the bedroom with a set of teeth marks on the ankle which means, feed me, please. He loves food and is constantly in search of it. Also, he loves attention and people. At the humane society he was a greeter cat who came up to meow at everyone who came into the cat room to visit.

His staff came with gentle Buddy, our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel mix dog, whom Blake could command without a hint of a growl or hiss. Blake would prowl into the room, looking right at Buddy, and give a clear, piercing “meow”. Blake “Bobcat” Smith-Davis-Cat would then turn around and, as expected, his brother would immediately get up and follow Blake as directed. He was not the dominant animal with Rascal (another one of our dogs).

Blake always loved fresh hamburger, cat treats, chicken, lap sitting, laser toys, string, and having his tummy-tickled and brushed by girls, specifically. He guards our house, loves to chase small creatures with Rascal and makes us proud, most of the time.

Always determined to find his prey, Blake tried to escape to the outside world now and again. But countless times was chased back inside (and sometimes gently pulled by the ear) by his younger brother Rascal, our self-assured terrier who, even though hard to believe, has even bigger attitude and teeth.

Through the years, the old tiger has always defended and tended his pride as ¹Corinthians 13:4-7 commands us to be. “Love is patient, love is kind …⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Roger has gently tended our kitty, especially the last year. Hour by hour, day by day after Blake was diagnosed with kidney and thyroid diseases and blockage in colon. So, Roger persevered to find a way to administer humanely the necessary medications…compounded specially by a pharmacy for Blake…Gently, multiple times a day, he would tenderly seek Blake out in his hiding places and administer medicine to Blake’s ears. Blake seemed to know that his loving friend brought help to him. Never fought the medicine. Roger would talk gently to his kitty with lots of pets and tender strokes.

Despite tiring physical illnesses of his own, Roger would never waver. For example, he would sit patiently and quietly while Blake would slowly bob for water, food and walk away but would return three or four other times while he would attempt to get enough nourishment. His stomach had shrunk a lot with his illnesses, to half his weight and couldn’t take much in.

On Blake’s last day, cleaning up for the kitty who had to be placed in his litter and couldn’t stand up but fell down in exhaustion. Whatever was needed, Roger would be there. We all would be there for our baby boy. Even his brother Rascal, who loved Blake’s food, somehow knew and often checked on his big brother.

Blake would never, ever give up. Blessing us and enjoying life. Loving his tuna and jumping up on the bed with his pride, or onto his throne. The living room window seat, he just wanted to be with those he loved, protect them, and knew that they loved him.

His tiger dad and I protected him and said goodbye holding Blake in his favorite Catnapper lounger with plenty of cuddles and pets from all of his vet Alicen, his family and friends. We will always love you, dear feisty kitty. The old tiger and I will see our beloved Bobcat-angel once again on the Rainbow Bridge

. Yet, somehow, I still sense your presence and hear your soft mee-ow asking for food. Love can lasts furr-ever. So, dear friends..each other despite, or actually because of your beautiful differences. Meow.

You can learn more about Blake, Buddy and Rascal in my book “Tales of Our Boys and Other Critters”.

Perception Matters And How It Changes Everything

Kayla Becker loves to serve and inspire others as a friend, school teacher, yoga instructor, success coach and more. I have known Kayla as a contemplative friend for quite awhile now and truly love the beauty of her heart. The wisdom in her article about truth versus perception in seeing can easily be applied to how to see God and His children with an awakened heart. Thank you Kayla for your service to God and His creations! Blessings, Bonnie

Kayla Becker, guest blogger

One of my first mentors always talked about beach balls

As a metaphor

For how people see a situation.

Depending on which side of a beach ball you are standing

You will see different colors –

If you are standing on one side of the beach ball,

You’ll see the colors green, orange, and white

And if you are standing on the other side of the beach ball,

You’ll see the colors yellow, blue, and red.

And as my mentor told me,

Each person is right

Regardless of what they see –

Because they can only see what is in front of them.

And it’s what we currently know

That is guiding our reality.

Whatever side of the situation – of the ball – we are seeing

Is our truth.

I think about this analogy often when I am working with my clients

Because it is often our perception, our truth,

That is impacting us –

For better or for worse.

Sometimes it’s our perception of ourselves –

“I’m not good enough”

“I’m not where I want to be”

“I always mess up”

“I’m going to fail”

“I don’t know how to get over this”

“I don’t fit in”

“No one understands me”

“I can’t figure out how to change (fill in the blank)”

“I’m such a (loser, screw up, disappointment, hot mess, black sheep…)

And it is these perceptions –

These “truths” –

We have about ourselves

That keeps us stuck.

And other times,

It’s these big, looming thoughts we have about being

Judged

And

Criticized

And

Being all alone

That frightens us the most

Because of past experiences

And memories

That holds us hostage

In our own lives.

And when this happens,

We need to pick up the beach ball

And examine it.

We need to turn it to the other side,

Flip it around,

Turn it upside down

And see what we see …

And that’s one of my roles with my clients –

To help them see and explore something different,

So, they can decide for themselves.

Because sometimes seeing something different is really hard

Especially when we’ve believed something about ourselves, or others, or a situation,

For so long.

Because many times

Those are the ones that are causing us the most anguish

Because they are so ingrained in who we are,

And how we see ourselves…

And when we’ve believed something for so long

It becomes a “truth”

Rather than a perception.

If you’re seeing only one side of the beach ball,

You aren’t seeing the whole thing clearly

And that’s a problem.

Write to Kayla Becker

My Heart Knows I Believe

Rascal Smith-Davis-Dog waits for his human — Rascal

Open your eyes a little wider, please. What do you believe you will see with your eyes wide open? I believe that the healing process of Light penetrates the eyes so you can see more. But what is it you wish to see in the busy-ness of the present and planning for what is to come?

Do old songs ever get into your head? Your heart? I believe the healing Spirit puts them there for a reason.

Also, I believe that what I intend to perceive is what I will see. I must be open. God knocks at the door; I must open the door to let in the Light. Yesterday the Spirit touched my heart and stopped my “busy” plan cold with the radiant, sweet lines of the old song “I Believe,” slowly ungunking my sight with its message…

“I believe for every drop of rain that falls…”

“What is on your to-do list for today?”

“Where are you going, honey?”

These questions are answered in myriads of ways…lists of to-dos. Check off one, go to another… Little Rascal stands wagging his tail. He just doesn’t understand why the list doesn’t seem to include him.

“A flower grows…”

I sit, looking down at the phone in hand, answering yet another text message from a friend while sweet puppy Rascal wags and quietly stares in my direction, peeking around the Christmas tree. He asks with big brown eyes, “What is so important to you? Pet me. Please.”

“I believe that somewhere in the darkest night…”

Slightly irritated at Rascal, but more at myself, I get up and pad in my muk-luk socks down the hall toward my room, I peek in to see the computer light shine on my husband’s glasses as he works on another project. He’s busily involved in family finances. Looking beyond him, I see through the darkness… fresh fallen snow. Christmas week.

“A candle glows…”

Turning the corner into our family room, I sigh at stacks of books and files left over from a conference I returned from a week or so ago. Projects seem endless and I have reports to write, but where is the time to share the candlelight glow of a warm fire with a loved one?

Pet the puppy?

Extravagant use of time, right?

“I believe for everyone that goes astray.”

Digging down into my pile of books, I find the one I was looking for to handle a business issue that has come up and move down the hall toward my study, when a glint of light flashing off the brass lamp at my piano calls me over.

“Someone will come to show the way…”

My eyes are drawn to the light falling on a song that I was practicing for an upcoming meeting. I stop in my tracks, entranced by the title…” I Believe…” I make my way around the piano and continue reading the words. My hands are drawn up to the keyboard and I start playing and singing the words dear to my heart.

“Then I know why…”

The busyness of the day fades away, and I smile as I hear Rascal jump into a nearby chair and cock his head toward the piano. My heart radiantly fills up with the Holy Spirit, Who once again gently taps me on the shoulder and encompasses me with a loving warm embrace.

Rascal sniffs the book sitting quietly on the table beside him and loses interest as the melodic tones flow into him.

Rascal comes next. That report can wait awhile.

“I believe…”

Jesus lives on, in, and through us, God’s Will is continuing to manifest now and will forevermore.

How is the Holy Spirit tapping you on your shoulder today? How are you seeing the world at this moment?

I Believe – The Bachelors – 1964

Words for “I Believe”

I believe for every drop of rain that falls
A flower grows
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night
A candle glows
I believe for everyone that goes astray
Someone will come to show the way
I believe
I believe

I believe above the storm the smallest prayer
Will still be heard
I believe that someone in the great somewhere
Hears every word
Every time I hear a newborn baby cry
Or touch a leaf
Or see the sky
Then I know why
I believe
Every time I hear a newborn baby cry
Or touch a leaf
Or see the sky
Then I know why
I believe

Writer/s: Al Stillman, Ervin M Drake, Irwin Graham, Jimmy Shirl
Publisher: CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, T.R.O. INC.

Manna from God

Guest blog by Laurie Stawicki

Video of me singing and playing the guitar to a song I wrote called “Manna.”

Today, I looked at Facebook. On it I saw the daughter of an old friend. It looked like she was having a great time! She had a beautiful house, a fun business that she enjoys and that she works hard at, and she had a husband and a couple of good-looking children. Not only that, she was beautiful too! Like a model.

While part of me is telling me that she had help from her parents and maybe she married a rich husband to have such a wonderful house, I must remind myself that my destiny, to some degree, is in my own hands. What are some steps I can take to make a life that I feel good about?

First of all, are there things (or people) in my life that need to go to free up space for the new and the beautiful? Objects, clothes, certain acquaintances, time wasters and poor habits could be cleared to make way for the best.

What are the things I could change in my life to create a more wonderful life for myself and my family? Am I living where I want to live? Am I working at what I love? Am I living this week, month, year vibrantly, as if it were my last?

Some people, me included, have wondered where the line is drawn with how much God wants us to take care of ourselves, versus how much time we are caring for others. And most of us who are mothers or caregivers have experienced fairly long periods of time where we barely had any time for ourselves. I think this is normal. However, the question is, at what point does God want us to take more time for ourselves and the gifts and talents he has given us?

Jesus told us to love others AS we love ourselves. Some would say that I need to love myself a little bit more. It may be hard to find the line between service, sacrifice and what we do for ourselves, but here are some questions that could help us gauge the time commitments that some might to expect of us.

We could ask ourselves for instance,

What is my mission from God? Do I know what my life mission is? Am I doing it?

The good Samaritan did not abort his mission. He stopped and helped the person by the roadside and took him to the Inn he was going to stay at. He went on his journey and paid the inn keeper to look after the person, continuing on his own mission.

In any situation that arises, one could ask themselves, “Am I the good Samaritan, or the Inn Keeper?” In other words, when I come across a person in need, is it my job to take this person to the next station? Or is it my job to stay with them and help them. Knowing one’s boundaries is good, but trusting that God will lead you and guide you in each situation is better. Some people or situations we are only called upon to help for a little while until the long-term helper is available. And with some situations, God surprises us with the duration of what we think is a detour.

Do I have a clear vision for the details of my life? Prayerfully write the vision for each

category of your journey (Habakkuk 2:2). For instance, when shopping for a house, make a list of the “must haves”, the “would like to haves”, and the “optional” characteristics. Then when a house pops up (or a job, spouse, vacation) exhibiting all of the things on your list, you can know that most likely it is the right one. It saves a lot of time if you know what you want. Psalm 37:4 says that God gives us the desires of our heart.

Am I taking care of myself with proper sleep, healthy food, fun, fellowship, reasonable work load, family time, church, and exercise? Am I growing in my skills, and enjoying my day with a relaxed attitude? Am I spending time with God?

These, and more, are questions we can ask ourselves when we are wondering if we are on the right track with taking care of ourselves and our own mission on earth. Loving ourself means loving who we were meant to be, and living our life feeling good about our decisions.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meets.” Fredrick Buechner

Ephesians 2:10 says,” We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Each one of us has a purpose, and it’s up to us to find it and to discover what God has written into our DNA that will delight us and serve the world in a powerful way at the same time.

What’s in your heart? Write it down and make a plan. If you miss when shooting for the moon, you will at least land among the stars. Happy trails!

Laurie Stawicki is a singer-songwriter, poet, and author of the upcoming memoir, “Sacrifice of Tears.” She is mother of five and lives in Iowa.

Choose to See God

Question. Where do you see God?

Answer: everywhere and in everything. In every molecule of water, every blade of grass, all animal life, every living, breathing human on the planet, every star in the sky, every breath we breathe.

Alive and well. All is well.

But how can we say that all is well when a loved one passes, friends argue, a job is lost, an illness arises, crimes are committed, COVID-19 continues, hunger and homelessness live on, forests are burned, and smog fills the air? Anger arises and trials run on and on….

Above all, be aware, choose joy and love, patience and kindness, acceptance, and hope. We can choose to love because God loves us without reservation— just as we are.

We can choose to see God through a beautiful phrase I heard the other day…

Life events happen for us, not to us. The more difficult the day, the more we can choose to rise to meet it with God’s help. God is in every crack and cranny of this world and beyond. We can choose to see with the eyes of faith and be made stronger when we recognize our dependence on God to help us through each circumstance.

Last year, I experienced what doctors labeled a deadly serious illness in my digestive tract and ended up “alone” in the hospital because of COVID-19, with technicians and doctors working hard to get me through. Throughout this time, I felt so close to God, just depending on him. My husband and I trusted God’s plan. I prayed that God hold Roger and the rest of the family close if I didn’t make it.

Through this struggle, I learned to have more patience and acceptance, among so many other things. Prayer and love held us together. Throughout my life, God has continued to provide people—just the ones I need—to be there for me. As God is for you. God loves us. Each one of us.

Recently my husband underwent an MRI. He had gone through an ultrasound that did not show any conclusive reasons for a problem that was becoming an enigma. He had been experiencing dizziness and had previously had a mild mini-stroke that left him with difficulty speaking and in need of medical treatment for a long time.

God chose to let him stay with me and healed him. The current MRI showed residual effects. Perhaps this dizziness was a wake up blessing, spurring us to take needed measures.

We will continue to search for answers, but will continue with trust, knowing peace and having hope, for this situation has been given to God. The unbreakable thread of Christ’s Love holds strong in our lives. We will keep praying, believing, and doing all we can.

We feel a wellspring of gratitude for the breath of life and the opportunity to love and serve as we are able. Not that we do not grumble or complain at all, because we do. But life events happen. How we take those moments is up to us.

We can choose to see Son shine in each moment, whether breaking a garage door, cooking a meal, doing the dishes, walking the dog, changing a tire, serving at church, praying with others, or sharing a celebration – endless circumstances in which we can grow more like Christ.

Intentionally, we can choose to see and be Christ’s presence as we are called. We can know God is in us and completely with us… working in our lives. We know this is true in the depths of our being. In our heart.

We may spiral down but come back up through the power of Christ’s Love.

Alive and well. All is well.

Where are you seeing God working in your life today? No way is too small. Praise God!

Kitchen Chair Love

For as 1 John 4:19 tells us, “we love because he first loved us.” It is the effectual love of God that first changes our hearts in order to make us capable of love.

The truth is that what we “see” is not what is visible to the heart. You can’t make an animal love you. For example, this photo of our animals shows love profoundly in my heart. The newspaper explains what the world might have seen as very important at the time. The headline blares out words of “this is something that you must know”.

My dear Buddy dog and Blake cat are focused on what is important to them. I look at their eyes. Seeing through their eyes, Blake is looking at the “world” around them…the kitchen, the food on the table, the next fun thing for him to do. Buddy focuses on Roger, my husband, and the photographer. He immediately loved and wanted to rescue Buddy from the “pound”. Roger saw what was beautiful inside of this sweet creature, once bedraggled, mistreated, scruffy, and flea -infested and, even to me, not so special to any other visitor to the humane society. Buddy knew that in his heart. His wounds heal from love inside out. Like ours. You cannot make an animal love you or you love any of God’s creatures.

Claws dig into my lap and my eyes focus on the two dear, sweet animals that want to share a little lap time with Mom. Normally, I realize they would probably not have chosen to spend much time so close to each other. But these sweet boys come up to visit Mom and share the warmth of sweet trust and love. Each sees what is most important to him or her as we live and love in our small community.

God’s love Light encompasses the whole picture. Simply love all, deeply, truly and forever. Christ’s love lives and loves through us. May we strive to do this for others and ourselves. …each moment be in the present, alert as your heart peels away the wounds of your hurt and below the surface reveals to you the deep love hidden in plain sight beneath.

Starving

Guest Blog by Laurie Stawicki

Hello Friends! Have you ever awakened from a dream and discovered that in your dream, you had become or accomplished so much more than you are right now? Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you let go, really let go of the past, and started taking steps towards your dream life? Have you ever meditated on what you’d really like out of life, and what you want your accomplishments to be at the end?

We only have one life to live. And it is so important to take a few moments or even an hour, a day, or a week or more away, and write down your hopes and dreams and what your goals will be. (Get out your notebook today! Start with a dream brainstorm.)

If you need help with confidence, get help from a coach or a counselor or even a friend. What God has put in you, do not allow to fade like a flower and forever be unused. Bring forth your gifts and talents for the community around you to be blessed by and to encourage others towards being all they can be, and so it becomes a circle.

You give who you are and what you have so the next person is inspired to do the same, and we all feed off of each other in a good way, to edify, uplift, purposefully contribute who we are and who God made us to be, functioning in His body, and blessing God and ourselves with our gifts and contributions to others and the world.

Let’s not give up! This is your day! Never, never, never give up the dreams God has put in your heart. And if for some reason you have moved away from them, do a recovery dive! Take a new step in your original direction! There is no time to waste!

“This poem is about the dreams God has put in each child, including you, and what might become of them. Amen.

Starving for Dreams

They scrounge in the
Dust looking for something
not Remembering
what it was they Lost
So Long Ago
Children’s Young hopes
Set Aside for the time
But Time became long
And Longer they served
Someone else’s dream
Slaves to the fact that they
Dependent on others for the
image of freedom
Forgot their own
and Died, remembering Not
from Whence they Came
from God their thoughts
Put to rest as Young adults
Never to be seen again
except as a foggy dream
in the night, half asleep
half awake, an angel’s reminder
that they were made for MORE—
Thoughts in the pallor of busy lives
Forgotten as in Dis-Believed, as In
not Honored for their Whole Purpose—
to Love, to be LOVED, and to Die with
their hands full of
what could have been
Had they Listened–
Had they Heard—
Had they begun to Believe
that inside their future
they held the Seed, As Children,
to Become All they were Meant
TO BE—
Had they Not compared
their Dreams to Another’s—
Had they Known that in the Internal
Gold Treasure Trove of
their gossamer Thoughts, Intentions
and Hopes—
they could Have It ALL—
Don’t let GO—
Remember
Who You Are
What You Dreamed (before Someone
taught you they were impossible)
Keep Listening to the Deep
Impregnable Art of the
Threads of Design in Your Mind
and Heart—
Creator and Created One
In Sync.

Blessing Others, Self and God
By Keeping to Your True Destiny
Fullness of Joy
Being Doing Dreaming
Art in your music,
numbers, architecture
of a life fully lived
before God—
as in—Who You Were Meant to Be—
Amen.