Addiction to Service

How much should you give of yourself?

There is beauty in generosity, and dignity in service, strength in boundaries, and freedom in choosing when—and how—you give. To find balance is not to abandon others, but to honor oneself as part of the circle of care.

If you find yourself “addicted” to doing a lot for others, as I have realized in my life, know that you are not alone, and that change is possible. Your worth does not depend on your usefulness. You are allowed to rest. Over time, I have found saying “No” has been much harder for me, than saying “yes”.

Jesus set the example for us…going off on his own – deliberately woven into the rhythm of his ministry. Solitude, for Jesus, was not merely absence from others but presence with God—a space for renewal, listening, and aligning with the Father’s will.

Jesus’ time alone was primarily spent intimate, sacred moments with God where he sought guidance, poured out his heart, and reaffirmed his mission. His prayers were not hurried; they were deep and sustained, revealing the depth of his reliance on God in preparation on for his ministry, giving himself rest and restoration- not only for himself but also for his disciples. In Mark 6:31, he invited them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” These moments of retreat were times to breathe, reflect, and recover strength.

This brings into play an understanding of the boundaries you must set for yourself to appreciate the wake up calls of some of your friends who have seen you diminish.

There is a difference between saying “yes” when you don’t compromise your health, your family or friends who truly need you with a perceived opportunity to serve, when others could fill in the need. Just step back to consider the “why” in your “yes”.

Yes, you can undoubtedly do it, but what compromises must be made in order to do so. If you can answer with confidence that it is a balancing (change of pace) for you of your stressors with a focus on something beneficial to others, perhaps yes is in order.

Some examples for me might be my choices to work at our local botanical gardens and arboretum or play music for others/visit with patients at hospitals or be a liturgist/lay leader at a church service.

I can do these things and not have to feel more stressed out. Along with taking care of my family who have a lot of health concerns right now. I do work out, go on walks and play my piano to relax as well and visit needed health professionals. I wish to be the best me present for them. So, I still am learning to say “no” in ways that respect others needs and my own.

Just recently there was a lapse in imperfect me’s boundary setting when I let myself be assigned to two major commitments on a given Sunday: a tech person, and leader for the worship in two different services on the same day. Too much. Two caring friends assisted in helping work through this. So much on my mind, overrode my self-care boundary – too willing over a period of time to not say yes. I didn’t step back spontaneously and look as I should have and relearned this lesson. The job had to be done, so I thought I was the only one that could do it. I guess I wanted to be the answer to each problem, a need partly filled. I was clearly incorrect and the Holy Spirit and the administrative secretary tapped me on the shoulder to remind me.

My family -parents and sibling -of community leaders have taught me the importance through example to step up …to step up. But I started at some point to serve with addiction, without my totally being aware. Perhaps you could identify a bit with the heroine of the movie, “Ordinary Angels”, or know someone who would.

People can unknowingly become addicted and compromise themselves. I recently saw a great video called “Ordinary Angels” with a clear look into an addicted life of a well-meaning, struggling hairdresser named Sharon- in this non-romantic true story -stemming from not feeling worthy of just being in this world, taking on too much and not taking time to think about why.

In this story, a young Christian family loses a wife and has a very ill child. The town pitches in to help the family but at the cost of overwork (inspired those it was) of the hairdresser who dedicates MOST of her time, and ALL her resources to that family. Sharon didn’t realize how much she was causing stress on those who loved her and wasn’t willing to find peace and joy in being caring self. (A bit of me twinges here). There are many lessons to be learned in being aware of one’s own self. Joy inside. Not inner peace and Joy SIDELINED by hiding by keeping busy.

You are allowed to receive. And in learning to do so, you may discover that the greatest gift you can offer—to others and to yourself—is the example of a life lived in gentle balance, where care flows both outward and inward, sustaining all and healthier, sustainable connections can emerge, built on mutual respect and care.

Ultimately, I am not a psychologist or counselor to advise you, but simply a more aware Christian who plans to more open to saying “no” and taking even more vulnerable, healthy care of myself and others … I believe it is important not to stop caring for others, but to care for oneself as well as Jesus illustrated for us. Scriptures say to love your neighbor as you love yourself in Leviticus 19:18. You can be generous without being depleted, helpful without being consumed.

Practice mindfulness: Pause to notice your own needs, feelings, and boundaries.
Reflect on your motives: Ask yourself why you feel compelled to help and whether you are acting from obligation or genuine desire.
Seek support: Therapy, support groups, and trusted friends can help you untangle old patterns and build new ones.
Celebrate small acts of self-care: Rest is not selfish; it is necessary. Inner peace and joy are not indulgent; they are vital.

Backseat Rider

By Christine Kaplunas, Guest author

It’s your car. You know how to drive it. You know where you are going. But for whatever reason, someone else is the driver, and you somehow ended up in the backseat.

What’s the first thing you notice? The backseat is kind of…dirty. And stuffy. And you bumped your head on the car just trying to get in. Then you notice how aggressively the driver takes the turns. “Could you turn on the a/c up there?” No one says anything. You lower your window, but the driver suddenly closes it, because it’s making a loud flapping noise. [Um…excuse me, but that’s my window.]

“I’m really hot back here. Can I have some air?” The front passenger turns on the air, but you still can’t feel it. “Would you turn the vents toward me?” Fumbling. Unsuccessfully.

“Oh, it was still on defrost. Sorry.” Finally, you won’t faint.

Does your kid usually have to deal with this when YOU are driving? Did you ever realize the back seat can actually be quite comfortable when the a/c is on? Did you ever notice that pretty blue house on the block? Wow, what a garden! Kids you’ve never seen are playing with a vaguely familiar dog at your neighbor’s house. “I guess I never see this when I’m watching the road.”

Congratulations! You have entered the experience of the “backseat rider.” Your perspective has shifted into solidarity with the people who usually ride in your backseat. Have you made sure the a/c was working when they needed it? Did you fuss at them when they opened the window? And similarly, have you spent any of the last 7 years noticing any of these wonderful things about your neighborhood? Did you notice the trees and the playful dogs and delightful children?

When I started interim pastoral ministry with my current congregation, we created (from scratch!) an after school strings program for 4th and 5th graders at the behest of the local principal. I did so much work to set up and run the program. I taught the students. I did the fundraising. I hired and trained the other program teachers. I spent hours on the phone with administrators. I built support in the denomination and community. I talked with parents and received important tidbits from school teachers. The program wasn’t universally embraced, and there were occasions I went to bat for it. A certain teacher worked quietly and jealousy to convince the school system to withdraw their support for it. It was difficult ascertaining quantitative progress markers. Money came with strings attached, but not the ones that vibrate.

On the other hand, I accepted a lot of help…from everyone. The school district gave us the space and the instruments. The local luthier made repairs. I had volunteers from across my congregation. They checked in students, gave them snacks, dried a few tears, cheer-led their progress from the sidelines, observed teachers (many of the volunteers were retired educators), developed tools for success at every step; the lead teachers and student teachers taught class, identified student progress, helped develop the curriculum, and nurtured the children themselves as they learned violin, viola, and cello. Congregation and community gave donations, memorials, a few bucks here, a $10,000 grant there.

So…long story short, COVID was a major setback. I conducted 14 funerals at my church in 2020 alone. Former volunteers became full time caregivers to family. School returned to session before there was much knowledge of COVID or access to a vaccine, and I was not willing to put my people’s health at risk. My own son spent 2020-2021 in an online-only classroom. I was busy with 100 new ways of being a pastor, and I found online music lessons an exercise in madness. We ended the strings program, but it took time to close it out. I was honestly burning out. I never wanted to be a YouTube pastor, hiding behind a mask like a bandit, editing videos for hours every day, but there I was.

Fast forward to 2023, and my son joined a 5th-8th grade string orchestra through the local Suzuki program. Part of me longed to teach an orchestra again. Part of me was still nursing the grief from before. What happened was weird though: I became a backseat rider.

The conductor was younger than me, still finishing a music education degree. He played percussion, with only the experience of string methods in his degree program. I was shocked when I remembered that, in normal school programs, one teacher alone conducts a whole classroom. My church can’t even get insurance coverage if we don’t keep 4 adults in the room with the children (yes, our insurance requires that 2 non-related adults walk a child to the bathroom).

My first impressions of this “different” string program led me to ask, “Should a parent be in the room as an ‘unrelated adult’ during rehearsal?” “What if a student needs their instrument tuned mid-rehearsal? There’s no one but the conductor if I don’t stay.” “What if a student has a question about bowings and fingerings? This is my specialty!”

At the root of this anxiety was: “Can I backseat-drive this class?” And…” how much can I say before I drive this poor conductor crazy?”

Slowly, I learned something valuable: I learned to just sit there, with all my thoughts and grief and insecurities, and OBSERVE. Out of this practice, I learned:

The conductor is very good at dealing with the ADHD-style disruptions. Why have I always demanded a strictly quiet classroom during rehearsal? He was patient, and the students never *needed* to be yelled at. Have I missed an important lesson for ALL these years?

There’s something important about learning alongside your students; the teaching is mutual. There’s a different sort of respect: the conductor is not an “authoritarian,” but a “authoritative partner” with the orchestra. I’m not sure I’ve ever really tried that when I was the conductor. Most of my own youth conductors were powerful and stern. I feared them, respected them, and learned never to play in the rests. But did my students actually improve when I was strict with them?

As an observational partner, I was welcomed to contribute when students needed a little of my help. But I tried never to make them feel like they couldn’t do something. Tuning strings…let’s do it together. Play through an excerpt…how can we improve this? Then I asked myself: Did I NEED to be needed as a teacher? Did I relish being a “fixer” for every problem? That’s a terrible idea in both teaching and pastoral ministry. Was I ready to learn this difficult lesson?

Could I begin and end a rehearsal with gratitude, rather than anxiety? Maybe we don’t learn everything as well as I’d like. Is it the end of the world though?

Ultimately, riding in the backseat of my own car shifted my perspective and offered me a chance to learn how I might do things differently in the future. Will I conduct another youth orchestra one day? Probably. (I’ve been sucked in many times before.) Will I bring new tools and ideas with me? Most definitely!

Will I occasionally put myself in the back seat in other aspects of my ministry and leadership? 100%.

Rev. Christine Kaplunas serves as the Pastor of Unity Presbyterian Church in Waterloo, Iowa. She plays violin in a string trio with her husband, Daniel, and 12-year-old son, Jacob. She loves new ideas, helping people heal, and Jesus.

A Different Kind of Love

By Christine Kaplunas

_{Author: Rev. Christine Kaplunas serves Unity Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Waterloo, Iowa. She loves reading about history, music and plants, but she also really loves her husband, son, and mother. You can hear her play fiddle occasionally with country band Throwback Jack.}

During the Great Depression, Kentucky women rode 120 miles a week through treacherous mountain passes, crossing swollen creeks and navigating steep terrain – all to deliver books to isolated Appalachian communities. These “Pack Horse Librarians” worked under the WPA from 1935-1943, earning just $28 a month (about $495 today).

Nearly 1,000 librarians participated, using their own horses or mules to carry books in makeshift saddlebags. They established small libraries in churches and post offices, repaired damaged books with Christmas cards as bookmarks, and persevered through harsh weather and dangerous conditions.

When their animals died, some librarians would hike 18-mile routes on foot rather than leave communities without access to books. They gained trust in remote areas by reading Bible passages and brought hope through stories to places where roads didn’t exist.

The program ended in 1943, but the Pack Horse Librarians left an incredible legacy of dedication, bringing knowledge and connection to isolated mountain communities during one of America’s darkest times.

Sources: Down Cut Shin Creek: The Pack Horse Librarians of Kentucky, Smithsonian Magazine, Pine Mountain Settlement School documents. This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

I read this italicized history above (I’ve read lots on these women before), and I can tell you exactly why these women braved horrible job conditions for terrible pay:

It’s love.

Maybe it’s not a sort of love you have encountered before. The benefits they received were things like…

1. Educating (through the sacred mystery of time) their younger selves/being the heroes they needed as kids.

2. Literally becoming heroes to the many isolated and mildly-literate people who needed to be able to connect to a changing, connecting world.

3. Delivering hope.

4. Living in a place with more educated neighbors.

The thing that “gets” me about this story is that I think I have to explain it on a molecular level.

Money is a useful currency. I know what it’s like to need it with utmost haste. I know what debt is like. My “denial” of its importance probably relates to my upbringing in a highly charitable family and church community. So I promise I know more than I look…

When Jesus was healing and empowering people, without money, it was love. When people ensure their neighbors don’t starve (despite all the potential poor choices they made to get there), when people educate other people’s children, when they plant trees or gardens for others to enjoy, when they teach the liberating word of God to others, when they ride a horse through hell just to get people access to books…

It’s love. Love is the currency that transcends all currency, because giving it away only multiplies it.

Do something today that values people over profits. Do something for the love of someone else today. Do it for someone close to you or far away. Do a little bit of something every day. Because money can’t go beyond the grave for you or me. But love does.

The old Tiger and Bobcat

Psalm 104:27-28 These all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.

¹Corinthians 13:4,7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ferocity, not Tenderness and love, usually comes to mind when I think of tigers versus bobcats. But just because beings are different, doesn’t mean love can’t flourish.

Prides of the cat families usually are often thought of as lions but our pride includes a house cat who thinks he’s a lion, a dog and a two legged creatures as the the “daddy cat” or “old tiger” as he calls himself.

yes, in our family’s pride I will share the loving relationship between two different but exceptionally tender and loving beings, one with 2 legs and one with 4, who truly gave their hearts to each other. The old tiger, Roger, has led the pride.. The other is our Blake, the feisty but dear tuxedo kitty named Bobcat for his manner of drinking, who would have been 21 on his next birthday.

God creates all animals for the use of mankind (Genesis 1:28; 9:3), but he expects us to respect and care for those resources, not to abuse them.

A godly perspective on all creation naturally leads to respect for all creatures. Psalm 104:27-28 All (creatures) all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.

This Biblical truth lives to the full with our old tiger and bobcat who lived 19 years with his pride…from the time we got him 10 pounds of feistiness and confidence in his role in life. In charge of his staff.

Blake, a small shorthair cat with an appetite, a big attitude, no claws and big teeth. If he wakes up early, hungry, he will catch the first human out of the bedroom with a set of teeth marks on the ankle which means, feed me, please. He loves food and is constantly in search of it. Also, he loves attention and people. At the humane society he was a greeter cat who came up to meow at everyone who came into the cat room to visit.

His staff came with gentle Buddy, our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel mix dog, whom Blake could command without a hint of a growl or hiss. Blake would prowl into the room, looking right at Buddy, and give a clear, piercing “meow”. Blake “Bobcat” Smith-Davis-Cat would then turn around and, as expected, his brother would immediately get up and follow Blake as directed. He was not the dominant animal with Rascal (another one of our dogs).

Blake always loved fresh hamburger, cat treats, chicken, lap sitting, laser toys, string, and having his tummy-tickled and brushed by girls, specifically. He guards our house, loves to chase small creatures with Rascal and makes us proud, most of the time.

Always determined to find his prey, Blake tried to escape to the outside world now and again. But countless times was chased back inside (and sometimes gently pulled by the ear) by his younger brother Rascal, our self-assured terrier who, even though hard to believe, has even bigger attitude and teeth.

Through the years, the old tiger has always defended and tended his pride as ¹Corinthians 13:4-7 commands us to be. “Love is patient, love is kind …⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Roger has gently tended our kitty, especially the last year. Hour by hour, day by day after Blake was diagnosed with kidney and thyroid diseases and blockage in colon. So, Roger persevered to find a way to administer humanely the necessary medications…compounded specially by a pharmacy for Blake…Gently, multiple times a day, he would tenderly seek Blake out in his hiding places and administer medicine to Blake’s ears. Blake seemed to know that his loving friend brought help to him. Never fought the medicine. Roger would talk gently to his kitty with lots of pets and tender strokes.

Despite tiring physical illnesses of his own, Roger would never waver. For example, he would sit patiently and quietly while Blake would slowly bob for water, food and walk away but would return three or four other times while he would attempt to get enough nourishment. His stomach had shrunk a lot with his illnesses, to half his weight and couldn’t take much in.

On Blake’s last day, cleaning up for the kitty who had to be placed in his litter and couldn’t stand up but fell down in exhaustion. Whatever was needed, Roger would be there. We all would be there for our baby boy. Even his brother Rascal, who loved Blake’s food, somehow knew and often checked on his big brother.

Blake would never, ever give up. Blessing us and enjoying life. Loving his tuna and jumping up on the bed with his pride, or onto his throne. The living room window seat, he just wanted to be with those he loved, protect them, and knew that they loved him.

His tiger dad and I protected him and said goodbye holding Blake in his favorite Catnapper lounger with plenty of cuddles and pets from all of his vet Alicen, his family and friends. We will always love you, dear feisty kitty. The old tiger and I will see our beloved Bobcat-angel once again on the Rainbow Bridge

. Yet, somehow, I still sense your presence and hear your soft mee-ow asking for food. Love can lasts furr-ever. So, dear friends..each other despite, or actually because of your beautiful differences. Meow.

You can learn more about Blake, Buddy and Rascal in my book “Tales of Our Boys and Other Critters”.

Advent practice:

Deepening Calm through Lovingkindness Practice

Beautiful practice for everyone…. In this time of Advent, often seen as a busy time for the commercial world, let us take five minutes to develop dive into a contemplative practice that can assist you in feeling calmness, lovingkindness.

I bring the practice to you courtesy of my contemplative friend and psychologist Ronelle Langley; Richard Rohr, Franciscan monk and author of the Center for Action and Contemplation; and Hospice worker and psychotherapist Kathleen Dowling Singh (1946–2017)¹ who taught how her spiritual practice of offering loving-kindness to herself and others deepened in the second half of her life:

Another thing that is noticeable is the transformed nature of my relationship with a practice of loving-kindness for self, at first, extending then to others, through the inner merging with a version of the following thoughts in one version of this prayer: “May I (you) be happy. May I (you) be well. May I (you) be peaceful and at ease.”

A You tube video of this practice…

Singh remembers that…the first few times I found powerful resistance in my mind…I felt I wasn’t worthy. The resistance was the belief in my unworthiness, my conviction that I didn’t yet deserve to be happy or hadn’t yet “earned” being peaceful. It was both sad and stunning to become aware of the resistance of all those deep, damaging, draining beliefs.

She adds, And, of course, my kind wishes for others were a bit shallow, not really authentic, when I couldn’t even hold them for myself. Gradually I began to rest in a dispassionate place of stillness where there was enough clarity to see the stories that gave rise to those mistaken beliefs and—just observing, just looking—they began to dissipate. After a while, it made me laugh to myself to see how stuck I’d been. Metta practice began to happen from a new place—actually resting in loving-kindness.

Give this practice a try. Also, take a look at Center for Action and Contemplation

¹Kathleen Dowling Singh, The Grace in Living: Recognize It, Trust It, Abide in It (Somerville, MA: Wisdom Publications, 2016), 81–82, 83.

Simply Sabbath…

simply Renew your heart

“In today’s world, with its relentless emphasis on success and productivity, we have lost the necessary rhythm of life, the balance between work and rest…” according to Wayne Muller, author of the book Sabbath.

Sabbath doesn’t have to be on a Sunday or even schedule an entire day. Sabbath can be an afternoon, a Sabbath hour or a Sabbath walk. I think it is vital for us spiritually.

A person petting a dog

Description automatically generated A close-up of a piano

Description automatically generated I find that for me, Sabbath can take many different forms. For instance, taking a special day or part of each day just to use my time of sacred rest to be quiet with my God Who is all around me, in me, through me is life-giving. Immense joy floods my soul by simple acts as hiking in nature, riding bikes, doing various spiritual practices, journaling, taking photographs, enjoying time my family with pets, reading, playing music on my piano will bring my body and soul back into balance. I feel rested, stored and renewed… creativity and life-giving connection with our Higher power, the Almighty can help us no matter what faith we profess and age group.

It isn’t the length of time, it is the intention that you take to join with Someone, something bigger than you. loving you, nourishing your life. Do take time this season to be with God. Knowing down deep in your soul that you are precious in His sight. See him in those around you. Beautiful trees, fresh air, warm sunshine, a harmony of joyous sounds brought into being by the God who loves to shower you with unexpected joys, if only you are awake, aware enough to be with them.

My understanding begins…

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY

The Creator’s Eyes…

Genesis 16:13 (NIV)

^13 “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen^[^a^] the One who sees me”

How glorious is that fraction of a moment!

To see the awakening light plant the seed, nourish the plant, spread the fire of growth,

Of Light flowing from the creator, rippling at light speed through the universe to the heart of a dear one’s need

Exactly what is needed for that moment…that physician renewed with new wisdom,

Images created in the mind and frustrations held in the heart are enveloped in the light,

What joy in the creator’s eyes to feel joy touching a child who sees her father as the doors of Heaven open its light saying all is good.

In harmony with the new pet warming its new family’s bonds, unity with others cuddling the warmth of the soft music of the octave reverberating throughout Life

‘What plans I have for you my Child,’ the Creator murmurs softly.

Lying in the grass under the stars, what lies behind the shining stars, the pulsing light

The coolness of the night air, the depth of the connections from within the bodies lying in a split second of time. Changed forever and moving still closer through the awakening light

Each star, each planet, each blade of grass, each song, the ignition of the Light that takes away and gives back life.

It is all good, as the instructor creator views his children, knowing that those who see with positive light grow kinder, softer, stronger, with the knowledge of His Son. The Word echoes deeply in their hearts deep within, changing, trusting, unknowing yet believing.

The Spirit guiding from within each living thing each struggle to grow closer to the Light. Yes. All is well. All is Good.

The moment passes to the next. The new note arises from the Creator’s heart.

Lilacs and the Spirit

In deep vibrant purples with fragrance as strong as their apparent will to grow, my 7-year-old lilac bush thrives virulently in our backyard. Why are these plants, or any life so special? Just like their owner, this baby cutting has grown despite the sometimes hidden, sometimes overgrown challenges in its life. Snow, rain, cuttingly cold winds. My most recent example is a medical diagnosis of my ADHD that until very recently had gone “unpruned” for over 40 years. Racing thoughts, lack of apparent focus, impetuosity, self-esteem, organization and more, I have with God’s help made it through to where I am, my will trying to shadowbox in ways difficult to win… bending, flowing, doing the best I can. Like my lilac, I continue to grow, sometimes seemingly hurt by reactions of myself and others, sometimes aware that God was guiding me, pruning me to make my life more beautiful, a difference for others. Nonetheless, praying for guidance, love and support with needed wind, nutrients, water.

Whatever you need pruned in your life, in you, the Master Gardener knows what you need and how to guide you there. I have been slowly opening and becoming receptive to following practices to meditate, to face the day, to be open to the hurt. Letting go in such Contemplative practices of praying without words, just sitting with God, with practices as centering prayer and lectio divina of the daily Scriptures and mindfulness (all prayer is good) daily, following my heart in playing piano and writing, dancing, deepening my connection with Nature, with photography, journaling, exercising and my dog and I training for and doing Pet Pals https://petpalscedarvalley.org/. As I have opened, like the lilac blooms, the Gardener moves in my heart. In the stillness, there are answers through listening.

In John 15:1-17 Jesus says, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the Gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. With each “pruning” I learn more about the wonder of being present, rusting the process, not determining the result. Let it come. Wonder.

Whoever looks on the outside dreams, whoever looks on the inside, awakens…Carol Jung. The Flow of Love, Life. Christ is in all. Are you willing to be still to perceive Him?

What do you see? An unruly child getting messy with paint on her hands and clothes or a work of unjudged, loving creation springing forward. Paint on the face, with a giggle and joy of look what I did, Mom! Just for you! Curls tangled with a bow tilted at a cockeyed angle. We progress in our seeing with the joy deep inside your heart. Only one Being will judge.

Notes from a page or a piano solo expressing gentle, wordless joy of harmonies from the soul? A photograph of almost perfectly correct. The right composition or the capturing of an unjudged image of God’s love across the sky. Is it in the doing or in the process of being in faith? Becoming? A poem flowing from the heart of God’s love creating the world or a series of syllables flowing in exactly correct measure?

My constant fight with trying to fit in, to match up, struggles in life may be partly, but not completely over. Racing thoughts, self-judging, lack of focus lessened with less pressure to be that dependent on others person, that was part of the struggle I have faced. Understand that no one way is right for everyone, and I have found solace in guidance from those who have training to guide me. But I have had to be ready to listen. Are you ready to listen?

The Light in my heart is slowly showing me how to trust, like my lilacs trust their Creator. To be receptive. For example, to see the Gardener in loving friends who have not judged but love, meditation, caring words from the Scripture come to life, and yes, finally try medical intervention as food for the body, nutrients, wind under sails, water. My world may be a little different now. There is much value in knowledge, facts and figures in this world. But it isn’t the only way to gain understanding. Words are only what you allow them to be. Do you take steps to see past the words?

Friends, we all have the opportunity to grow, like the lilacs, giving Glory to the One tending us and with trust in our Master Gardener. Our own pressures created in this world can serve us helping us grow in love with our God. There is a Way to turn that negative hurt with fear of change into an acceptance of Grace from the Father who will give you all that you need if you just take time to see the world as it is. Will you take the time to see, accept it? To reach out in prayer, in Nature, in Scripture, to ministers, trusted friends, family, for example.

As the birds sing out on rainy days and the squirrels scurry along precarious fences, dandelions bloom in the sidewalk cracks, trees naturally bend not questioning the flow of the nutrients. All grow, all accept and move into the flow of being a part of that growing Creation, patience in seeing, accepting yourself and others just to be a part of the whole.

Open, receptive and loving. The fruits of the spirit are the pruning tools. Will you grow as my lilac grows, giving and accepting with love.

Reference also: Guardians of Being by Eckhart Tolle.

Perception Matters And How It Changes Everything

Kayla Becker loves to serve and inspire others as a friend, school teacher, yoga instructor, success coach and more. I have known Kayla as a contemplative friend for quite awhile now and truly love the beauty of her heart. The wisdom in her article about truth versus perception in seeing can easily be applied to how to see God and His children with an awakened heart. Thank you Kayla for your service to God and His creations! Blessings, Bonnie

Kayla Becker, guest blogger

One of my first mentors always talked about beach balls

As a metaphor

For how people see a situation.

Depending on which side of a beach ball you are standing

You will see different colors –

If you are standing on one side of the beach ball,

You’ll see the colors green, orange, and white

And if you are standing on the other side of the beach ball,

You’ll see the colors yellow, blue, and red.

And as my mentor told me,

Each person is right

Regardless of what they see –

Because they can only see what is in front of them.

And it’s what we currently know

That is guiding our reality.

Whatever side of the situation – of the ball – we are seeing

Is our truth.

I think about this analogy often when I am working with my clients

Because it is often our perception, our truth,

That is impacting us –

For better or for worse.

Sometimes it’s our perception of ourselves –

“I’m not good enough”

“I’m not where I want to be”

“I always mess up”

“I’m going to fail”

“I don’t know how to get over this”

“I don’t fit in”

“No one understands me”

“I can’t figure out how to change (fill in the blank)”

“I’m such a (loser, screw up, disappointment, hot mess, black sheep…)

And it is these perceptions –

These “truths” –

We have about ourselves

That keeps us stuck.

And other times,

It’s these big, looming thoughts we have about being

Judged

And

Criticized

And

Being all alone

That frightens us the most

Because of past experiences

And memories

That holds us hostage

In our own lives.

And when this happens,

We need to pick up the beach ball

And examine it.

We need to turn it to the other side,

Flip it around,

Turn it upside down

And see what we see …

And that’s one of my roles with my clients –

To help them see and explore something different,

So, they can decide for themselves.

Because sometimes seeing something different is really hard

Especially when we’ve believed something about ourselves, or others, or a situation,

For so long.

Because many times

Those are the ones that are causing us the most anguish

Because they are so ingrained in who we are,

And how we see ourselves…

And when we’ve believed something for so long

It becomes a “truth”

Rather than a perception.

If you’re seeing only one side of the beach ball,

You aren’t seeing the whole thing clearly

And that’s a problem.

Write to Kayla Becker

My Child…Awakening

My child,

Do you know who I am?
Listen deeply and be filled as I enfold you.

Delicately graceful birds floating gently

Silver scaled fish glimmering as one
Soft purring cats rubbing those they own
Yipping dogs rolling over for best friends

Life force surging within all beings
Tender, glowing sunsets kissing all they touch

Life-giving air filling and enlivening
Eternal stars burning radiantly above

Yearning children hugging mothers
Gentle mothers cuddling babies
Elderly parents facing transitions

Brokenhearted mothers losing children

Virulent dandelions flourishing through the rocky soil
Strong oak branches budding
Deep, sunshine searing, warming
Powerful water flowing into depths unknown

Encrusted moistness, constantly nourishing Mother Earth

Deep eruptions changing the face of the Universe

Star-filled darkness exploding Earth with encompassing Light

Minuscule darting atoms swirling, connecting life

Ancient wisdom revealing all Truth
Wholehearted belly laughter awakening twinkling eyes

Deep seated Essence of all that live, move and have their being

I am the Body. One with the All in All.
I exist only because of the One.
Now and forever.

Who am I? I am You. I am Love.