Deepening Calm through Lovingkindness Practice
Beautiful practice for everyone…. In this time of Advent, often seen as a busy time for the commercial world, let us take five minutes to develop dive into a contemplative practice that can assist you in feeling calmness, lovingkindness.
I bring the practice to you courtesy of my contemplative friend and psychologist Ronelle Langley; Richard Rohr, Franciscan monk and author of the Center for Action and Contemplation; and Hospice worker and psychotherapist Kathleen Dowling Singh (1946–2017)1 who taught how her spiritual practice of offering loving-kindness to herself and others deepened in the second half of her life:
Another thing that is noticeable is the transformed nature of my relationship with a practice of loving-kindness for self, at first, extending then to others, through the inner merging with a version of the following thoughts in one version of this prayer: “May I (you) be happy. May I (you) be well. May I (you) be peaceful and at ease.”
A You tube video of this practice…
Singh remembers that…the first few times I found powerful resistance in my mind…I felt I wasn’t worthy. The resistance was the belief in my unworthiness, my conviction that I didn’t yet deserve to be happy or hadn’t yet “earned” being peaceful. It was both sad and stunning to become aware of the resistance of all those deep, damaging, draining beliefs.
She adds, And, of course, my kind wishes for others were a bit shallow, not really authentic, when I couldn’t even hold them for myself. Gradually I began to rest in a dispassionate place of stillness where there was enough clarity to see the stories that gave rise to those mistaken beliefs and—just observing, just looking—they began to dissipate. After a while, it made me laugh to myself to see how stuck I’d been. Metta practice began to happen from a new place—actually resting in loving-kindness.
Give this practice a try. Also, take a look at Center for Action and Contemplation
© 2023 Bonnie Smith-Davis
1Kathleen Dowling Singh, The Grace in Living: Recognize It, Trust It, Abide in It (Somerville, MA: Wisdom Publications, 2016), 81–82, 83.
Awakening Light 